Passing

“Irene couldn’t, she absolutely couldn’t bring herself to utter the polite fiction, or anything approaching it.”

Passing, by Nella Larsen, page 43

It goes without saying that there are many undertones in the Nella Larsen’s writing of this book. It has very strong cultural implications, especially for the time in which it was published. This being said, and acknowledging that racism is still present today, though not nearly as prominently as in Larsen’s time, I am choosing to focus on this line from the book because it is an aspect of culture that has and will always exist.

Growing up, there are very simple teachings which parents pass unto their kids: always be polite, say please and thank you, and always tell the truth, even though it is hard to do at times. In teaching, these things seem very simple, and are often taken for granted (especially in society nowadays, I find). 

However, sometimes these teachings come into conflict, as can be seen with Irene. In the case above, Irene is conflicted with how to regard John Bellow after all his hateful, racist remarks over tea. Should she say what is polite, or what is the truth? Or nothing at all? 

It is important that Larsen refers to the pleasantries as “polite fiction”. As it suggests, the aspect of cultures which makes people feel compelled to engage in small-talk and exchange pleasant greetings is most commonly simply the creation of an ideal taught to us as children that we must always be polite, especially in the presence of others with whom we are not well acquainted. Essentially, they are just artificial and mechanical sayings that come out of people’s mouths. 

“Great weather we’re having today.” It could be cloudy and uncomfortably hot and humid, but it still won’t be an uncommon thing to be heard said by a stranger. Where is the line drawn between saying something out of politeness, despite the fact that it is untrue, or saying the truth and being considered rude? How do you choose between the two ideals?