Courage

"Don't do it to Hoa...Do it to me."

(Bloodchild, 26)

Courage is when you are afraid to do something, but you swallow that fear, and do it anyway. This is exactly what Gan did. 

Although he grew up aware of what happens, having been told since very young, Gan was still hesitant in helping T'Gatoi remove all the worms from Lomas' body. However, he repetitively overcame any fear he had throughout the whole experience, and proved to be stronger than he thought. 

At first, Gan does not want to even touch Lomas, but then proceeds to excuse his mother from the situation and do what needs to be done. He acknowledges the gruesomeness of the entire situation and even though he was afraid and repulsed the entire time, he did what we could to ensure that his siblings and mother would not have to suffer through watching any of it. 

Despite the fact that he was afraid of experiencing the same fate as he witnessed with Lomas, Gan insists to T'Gatoi to "do it to me", instead of allowing his sister or any siblings to go through such an experience. Gan consistently overcame his fears and acted in a selfless way, for the sake of his family. Even if not all of his family members would do the same for him. 

Chance, or not?

"Though Joshua saw no one- he once passed me right by..." 

(Blorts, 144)

This commentary about Joshua is important mainly because it gives the ending more meaning. Up until this point, we are lead to believe that the narrator and Joshua simply met by chance. 

When they first met, Joshua claimed that he and the narrator had seen each other at the beach- or rather that Joshua had seen the narrator, while he had stared at Joshua's "blorts". However, the commentary from above suggests that this could not be true, since "Joshua saw no one". This then brings into question whether Joshua really saw the narrator or not. 

However, this is essentially answered when Joshua admits at the end that they did not meet, but rather that Joshua purposefully "picked up" the narrator. But in that case, did Joshua really have nowhere else to go when he asked the narrator to move into his apartment, or was that also a purposeful move in order to get closer to the narrator? We might be the last to know. 

Truth be Told

"The idea that anyone could measure herself against me and find that self wanting was truly shocking."

(Zami: A New Spelling of My Name, page 219)

The idea that Audre Lorde feels this way towards the end of the book, after everything she's gone through, is what is shocking to me. 

After reading about her relationship with Muriel, it felt as if Lorde was finally getting into a comfortable place with herself and her life. She finally settled down, and although did not live in luxury, seemed to be living happily. The fact that Lorde has gone through so many hardships, has survived them, and is still able to be in a place where she could share her life with another person is amazing. It is noteworthy, and something to be proud of. 

The way Lorde had talked about her life with Muriel and her friends, about recognizing (even if only with Flee) that her race set her apart from everyone else, and choosing to carry on as if it really didn't matter, gave me the impression that Lorde is more confident as a person than in the past. As if, even if everyone else didn't want to recognize it, she was a strong enough person to face her reality- and alone at that. 

Having such an impression of Lorde up until this point of the book and then reading that line really set me aback and made me reevaluate my impressions of her.

Friends

"Gennie was the first person in my life that I was ever conscious of loving. 

She was my first true friend."

(Zami, page 87)

Just the fact that the last statement from Lorde, "She was my first true friend", is separated from her other statements, gives this quote a very significant meaning. 

It is amazing to me to think that for fifteen years, Lorde did not feel as if she had a single friend. Even her group of "friends" that she spent the majority of her time with before Gennie were apparently not truly her friends? It just doesn't make sense to me that a person can spend so much time with a person or group of people, and not consider them to be a friend, whether a distant one or not.

This idea, that for fifteen years of her life Lorde did not have a single friend, says a lot about how her bringing up and family relations affected her social skills. Not only this, but to later on, after only knowing her briefly, lose the one friend she had formed can do a lot of damage to her psyche. To lose anyone, especially someone and the only person you have a close bond with, is a hardship, and I believe truly cemented Lorde's feelings for Gennie further.