Truth be Told

"The idea that anyone could measure herself against me and find that self wanting was truly shocking."

(Zami: A New Spelling of My Name, page 219)

The idea that Audre Lorde feels this way towards the end of the book, after everything she's gone through, is what is shocking to me. 

After reading about her relationship with Muriel, it felt as if Lorde was finally getting into a comfortable place with herself and her life. She finally settled down, and although did not live in luxury, seemed to be living happily. The fact that Lorde has gone through so many hardships, has survived them, and is still able to be in a place where she could share her life with another person is amazing. It is noteworthy, and something to be proud of. 

The way Lorde had talked about her life with Muriel and her friends, about recognizing (even if only with Flee) that her race set her apart from everyone else, and choosing to carry on as if it really didn't matter, gave me the impression that Lorde is more confident as a person than in the past. As if, even if everyone else didn't want to recognize it, she was a strong enough person to face her reality- and alone at that. 

Having such an impression of Lorde up until this point of the book and then reading that line really set me aback and made me reevaluate my impressions of her.